Values

Originally posted 10-3-2012

I’ve been contemplating the topic of a rant a friend had the other day. I think it only stuck with me because it was very insightful for this particular individual.

I don’t recall what lead up to the rant, but I remember it revolved around the inability of a person to know how to behave. My friend founded this issue on the grounds that values, norms, and ethics (from here on all referred to as ‘values’) are ever changing.

Normally, we ignore this friend as he is usually just a cranky ass, but like I said, this struck me as insightful. The more I think about it, the more I believe that this is accurate in surprising ways.
Example: when my mother was born, it was okay to grab your secretary’s ass. When I was born, it was okay to tell her that shirt makes her tits look great. Now, when my friends’ are having kids, it’s okay to tell her that shirt is nice but only if you are the same sex, heterosexual, and follow it up by asking where she got it. That would be the course of between 50-60 years.

This example shows that our values have shifted to being more conservative. Some people may argue something about being respectful or equality, but I think that’s junk so we’ll skip it. Our values have become, on the larger scale of it, more conservative. Why?

Example: when my grandmother was married, wearing white truly meant something. When my parents were married, it was okay if white didn’t mean quite as much. When I got married, and my friends got married, it was okay and common knowledge that white was just worn out of tradition.
Once upon a time, one would be scorned for having had a sexual partner before marriage. Now we judge people who haven’t had a sexual partner before marriage. Once upon a time, adultery would be kept quiet and would rarely happen. Now it is bragged about like making the winning pass in the high school game. This clearly shows that some layers of values have become more liberal. Again, I ask why?

I have come to the conclusion that these changes in such drastically opposite ways is spurned by fear. We fear being judged, we fear change, we fear commitment, responsibility, being alone, not being respected. With all this fear it’s no wonder that our basic foundation of values has begun to crack and shutter.

How much longer will it hold the flood at bay?