No filters please

Originally posted 7-20-2013

“Do these pants make my butt look bad?”

Why yes, yes they do.

When first I meet a person, regardless the situation or the intent behind the meeting, I always tell him/her this one fact: I always give and expect complete, unhindered honesty. I will tell you if those pants are ugly or if the soup you made is gross. I will tell you I missed what you said cause I was staring at your backside. And I mean it when I say I want you to treat me the same way.

There use to be a show on called Kids Say the Darndest Things. The real reason this was so entertaining isn’t that they say wild and crazy things. Well, not all of them. The real reason is that children have no filter. They say what they think. If a 6 year old sees an obese woman in the grocery store you will most likely hear “Wow that lady is fat.” This is quickly followed by a shushing, blushing, apologizing, and a stern lecture to the child.

Why?! The child is just stating a fact; be it out of turn or inappropriate, it is still a fact. Besides, we all think those things anyway.

I think we have issues with honesty due to two things: embarrassment and regret. We don’t want people to tease us or be mean to us so we hide those things about ourselves. This makes it easier to forget those moments; pretend that time we tripped and fell in our ice cream didn’t happen.

Why chose to hide those things? From what I’ve experienced with people, I see it like this: there are not enough people who like themselves.

I have been through many bad experiences, dumb mistakes, hard times, even dangerous times. If someone were to ask me “If you had a time machine and could travel only through your life time, what would you change?”

Nothing. I like the person I am. There are quirks and damaged joints, but I have made my life and I’m proud of who I have become and what I have survived. If I changed something in my past, I might lose that.

Therefore, if I would change nothing and I am proud of who I am, then I feel no need for embarrassment and regret. This frees me to be accepting of and willing to offer complete, unfiltered honesty.

We need more of that.